You Must Be Trippin'...

The Lovely Mrs. G. and I love to travel. Go to new places, see new things, the whole shebang. In fact, our next traveling will be in a couple of weeks from now - we're off to lose the mortgage in Fabulous Las Vegas! (Just a joke, honey....yes, you can hold the checkbook and credit cards if you'd like...)

Being the guy who likes to go places, I subscribe to a couple of different travel magazines, just to see what's happening in the world. Most of the places advertised are outside my current price range. Oh, sure, I'd love to spend $6,000 on a two week's vacation to Tahiti and Fiji just as much as the next guy, but odds are I'll end up in Kansas City or somewhere like that much sooner than I will in those tropical paradises.

But every once in a while you see a vacation destination advertised that had never really crossed your mind before. Like this one...

Uh..."friendly" Iran? Are you sure about that?

Now, I must be honest. I'm not trying to sounds like some Ugly American or anything, but Iran isn't on my Top 10 Dream Destinations list. Or my Top 20 list. Hell, it's not on my Top 1000 list. It's just not one of those places that screams to me "Hey, let's go there and have a good time! What's the worst that can happen?"

(Nothing personal, Iranians... In return, I'm sure you wouldn't be thrilled to visit Sioux City in the middle of January, either...)

But out of curiosity I went to the "Come To Iran" website, just to see how they were marketing this unique vacation getaway. Here's what they said:

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Dear Intrepid World Traveler,

The first question you are sure to ask is, “Is it safe to travel to Iran?” I sincerely believe it is as safe as anywhere else in the world. After personally escorting several tours and sending many more, the most recent in Spring 2008, my confidence is undiminished. It was in 1998 that on behalf of our company, my daughter made the first exploratory trip to Iran. She came back astonished, saying, “Ah, all the wonderful sights and sounds! The treasures held in Tehran’s museums are outstanding. Persepolis, a short drive from Shiraz, is absolutely extraordinary! Isfahan is a unique city with exquisite mosaic clad domes, bridges and Persian gardens. Iran as a whole is nothing short of breathtaking!”


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Okay - that's their spin on it. Now, here's what the U.S. State Department has to say:

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The Department of State continues to warn U.S. citizens to carefully consider the risks of travel to Iran.

This Travel Warning supersedes the Travel Warning for Iran issued January 3, 2008.

Some elements of the Iranian regime and the population remain hostile to the United States. As a result, American citizens may be subject to harassment or arrest while traveling or residing in Iran. In 2007, Iranian authorities prevented a number of Iranian-American citizen academics, journalists, and others who traveled to Iran for personal reasons from leaving for several months, and in some cases detained and imprisoned them on various charges, including espionage and posing a threat to national security.

The Iranian regime continues to repress its minority religious and ethnic groups, including Bahai, Arabs, Kurds, Azeris, and others. Consequently, some areas within the country where these minorities reside, including the Baluchistan border area near Pakistan and Afghanistan, the Kurdish northwest of the country, and areas near the Iraqi border, remain unsafe. Armed attacks on the road between Bam and Kerman in May 2007 also render this area unsafe.

Large-scale demonstrations have taken place in various regions throughout Iran over the past several years as a result of a sometimes volatile political climate.

U.S. citizens who travel to Iran despite this Travel Warning should exercise caution.

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So...pretty much the government is telling you straight up: "If you think you're going to visit Iran for a lark, then by golly you're a king-sized dumbass!"

The optimist in me wants to believe that yeah - maybe someday Iran will be an okay place to go and pick up some hard-to-find souvenirs. I mean, it used to be bad for Americans to travel to Russia or Vietnam, and look how they've changed.

But when the State Department tells you that you'd best stay the hell away from a place? I think it's in my best interest to perhaps listen to your wise ol' Uncle Sam for once.

So instead of visiting Iran this year, Mrs. G. and I will go to Las Vegas. Odds are it'll be a little safer, and if nothing else, if you get robbed in Vegas, it'll just be by a one-armed bandit, and not a whole angry mob. Plus, does Tehran offer 99 cent shrimp cocktails, 24 hours a day? I think not.

Of All The Luck...

Life has been complicated as of late. So much going on, so little time to get it done. But The Lovely Mrs. G. and I chug on, glad to be alive. At least it’s not raining.

So until I can find adequate time to fill in the gaps of what’s been going on for the past couple of months, I thought I’d share these with you… You KNOW how much I love to mock “fashion”…

I call this one “The Blue Pizza”.

I think maybe she has the mumps, don’t you?

If you ever wanted to hide in an oyster bed, this is probably the outfit for you.

I thought all of the girls wanted to be the GREEN M & M.

If they were male models, I’d make some snide remark about seeing the bell’s clappers. But since they’re chicks, that wouldn’t be really appropriate. Either that, or it’s one of those “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of situations.

“Come along and sing the song and join our jamboree…M – I – C – K – E - Y……”

It’s like a bad Salvador Dali painting…

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

True story: Growing up there was this really weird kid named Alex who lived across the street from our school. And Alex was…how shall we say…really weird. So he cut a hole out of the bottom of his sleeping bag and wore it around to be really weird to everyone he saw. It was a great idea until some other kids pushed him down and he couldn’t get back up. He then graduated to carrying a boxing glove on a stick, which got him expelled. So let that be a lesson to you, lady – you may think this is fashionable, but to the other kids on the playground? You’re just really weird.

So there you have it – fashion for 2008 and beyond. Just remember – no matter how crappy your day can be, at least you don’t have to wear this for a living.

A Beautiful Day!

I know, I know. I've been really bad about adding any new posts lately. Life has been both busy and complicated as of late. Very soon I'll have to sit down and start putting some more thoughts to blog....

But for the meantime, let me show you one of the coolest headlines ever...

For the first time in 8 years I'm feeling really optimistic about politics. Here's our chance for a totally fresh start, to make up for the mistakes brought on by W. Hope is a powerful thing, and it seems that we're finally going to have some.

And with no disrespect to John McCain - who really is a good, decent man - I'm proud to say thaty I've supported President Obama (how cool is that to say?) since the beginning. If anyone is going to be able to put the country back together again, It's Barack.

So enjoy your victory lap, America - it's been a long time coming. There's a lot of work to be done, but with the right man in the lead, I think it can be done.