I'm Just Happy To See You.

I had to break my winter coat out of storage this morning. It’s an annual tradition that never fails to sadden me to no end, but what can you do? It’s October, it’s the Midwest, deal with it.

The one fun part – if you can really describe it as “fun” – of putting on a jacket you haven’t worn in 6 months is discovering the mysterious items you left in the pockets the last time you wore it. Ain’t it great? The mystical phrase “Oh, THAT’S where I left that” should come to mind.

I’m world famous for leaving crap in my pockets. I don’t do it intentionally – it’s just the way it works out. Money, pens, paper clips, you name it. Just about every jacket I own has at least one long long-forgotten present in its pockets.

And it’s not just my coats. Why, ask The Lovely Mrs. G. about the zillion and one times I’ve gone and left Kleenex and/or paper towels in my pants pockets, only to have it go through the laundry and come out as fiber-rich snowflakes all over everything in the dryer. (On second thought, you’d better not ask her about that. It’s a subject best left alone.)

For reasons I’ll soon explain here, I had to wear my one and only suit last week. I was glad to see that my black double-breasted suit still fit, and I was twice as happy to find “Wobin & Wobbert’s” wedding announcement folded neatly in the inside jacket pocket. (I blogged about their wedding a while back – check the archives!) Should I mention that they just had their one year anniversary about a week ago? Shows you how much I play dress-up these days.

I really don’t know why I always seem to leave stuff behind in my clothes. Maybe it’s for those emergency situations – the bomb is about to explode, and McGuyver needs a quarter, a Bic pen, a half roll of Tums, an empty gum wrapper, and a sales receipt from Taco Bell to defuse it. Why, I’m the man to save the day!

Maybe I’m an adventurer at heart, and I find rediscovering missing items to be somewhat of a thrill. Oh, sure – I may never discover the lost Ark of the Covenant like Indiana Jones, but has Dr. Jones ever reached into his jacket pocket and found cat treats or a baby pacifier? I don’t think so.

Or maybe it’s just because I’m horrendously lazy and/or apathetic about cleaning out my pockets. Your call.

Anyway, in case you’re curious (and don’t deny that you aren’t!), today in my classic Disneyland 50th anniversary leather jacket I found a pen, a pack of Kleenex (unwashed, thankfully), a Chicago Transit Authority subway/El map from our visit last April, and my winter gloves.

I haven’t checked the gloves yet. Hopefully they’re empty.