Flown the Coop
Miss Katie and Baby Emmy moved out of the Gressel household last week. Sadly, it wasn’t the “Goodbye, take care, I’ll miss you, sniff, sniff” kind of send-off that parents hope to have when their children strike out on their own for the first time. It was more of a “Screw you guys – I’m moving out” kind of situation. “Nasty” doesn’t begin to describe how things were left.
We knew that the time for her to move on with her life was coming soon – if fact, we’d begun to encourage her to start thinking that way. She’s definitely old enough to be out on her own, and it was coming to the place where our tiny little house was getting just too small for all of our independent spirits. The Lovely Mrs. G. and I have our norms and mores about life and responsibilities and family, and Miss Katie had hers. As time moved in, they divide between the two became increasingly wide. So the split was probably inevitable. Ugly, but inevitable.
I’m sorry that things ended up so bitter and nasty, but I’m really not sorry that she’s gone. I had literally spent years trying to forgive Miss Katie over and over again for her indiscretions – primarily lying to my face, – but I’d finally reached the end of that road. I sometimes wonder if she just isn’t physically capable to telling the truth. She would lie to us about almost everything – her friends, her responsibilities, her whereabouts, her job, her school, her financial situation... the lies went on and on. So last week when we caught her in yet another major lie, I had enough. It was time for her to move on. When she yelled, “Fine – maybe I’ll just move out now,” I said “Okay. Please do.” She can spread her deceptions onto someone else from now on, because I’m officially done.
Whether or not Miss Katie, Mrs. G., and I will ever be able to reconcile is yet to be seen. We haven’t spoken since. I hope that we’ll at least be able to come to a general consensus and at least be friendly again. Maybe with time (and honesty) that can be possible. I’d like to think so.
But what has been hardest for Mrs. G. and I has been the separation from our granddaughter, Baby Emmy. We’d grown mighty attached to that little bundle-o-joy, and not having her around the house on a regular basis hurts like hell. Mrs. G. is especially brokenhearted about the whole situation – she misses that baby like you wouldn’t believe. I hope the day will come soon when we’ll all be able to work out an agreement where we can spend some more time with Baby Emmy; we sure liked having her in our world.
So now Mrs. G. and I are empty nesters. It’s kind of strange to think that it’s just us there now – our family size was cut in half in a matter of minutes. Of course the cats still think they rule the house, and in many ways they do. Jack has called “dibs” on Miss Katie’s old room, and Tasha the Drooling Cat has permanently parked herself in the old recliner that Miss Katie liked to sit in. Mrs. G. and I are slowly getting used to having it quiet at night around the place, and we find that not tripping over all the extra furniture at 4:30 in the morning is kind of a bonus.
Some day we’ll get used to the notion that our family will never be the same again. We’re already enjoying each other’s company, which is a good thing. But for now it’s just going to take some time.
So parents – be sure to hug your kids and tell them that you love them. Tolerate them for as long as you can, then count to ten and tolerate them some more. And kids – please be honest with your parents. They’re really on your side, no matter what, and lying to them will never improve your situation at all. Believe me – your folks would much rather hear a “bad truth” than a “good lie”.
I’ll close this with an old Chinese proverb. Keep this in mind as you think of your family, will you?
“One has to have run a household before one can know the price of rice and firewood, and one has to have raised children before one can understand a parent’s love.”
We knew that the time for her to move on with her life was coming soon – if fact, we’d begun to encourage her to start thinking that way. She’s definitely old enough to be out on her own, and it was coming to the place where our tiny little house was getting just too small for all of our independent spirits. The Lovely Mrs. G. and I have our norms and mores about life and responsibilities and family, and Miss Katie had hers. As time moved in, they divide between the two became increasingly wide. So the split was probably inevitable. Ugly, but inevitable.
I’m sorry that things ended up so bitter and nasty, but I’m really not sorry that she’s gone. I had literally spent years trying to forgive Miss Katie over and over again for her indiscretions – primarily lying to my face, – but I’d finally reached the end of that road. I sometimes wonder if she just isn’t physically capable to telling the truth. She would lie to us about almost everything – her friends, her responsibilities, her whereabouts, her job, her school, her financial situation... the lies went on and on. So last week when we caught her in yet another major lie, I had enough. It was time for her to move on. When she yelled, “Fine – maybe I’ll just move out now,” I said “Okay. Please do.” She can spread her deceptions onto someone else from now on, because I’m officially done.
Whether or not Miss Katie, Mrs. G., and I will ever be able to reconcile is yet to be seen. We haven’t spoken since. I hope that we’ll at least be able to come to a general consensus and at least be friendly again. Maybe with time (and honesty) that can be possible. I’d like to think so.
But what has been hardest for Mrs. G. and I has been the separation from our granddaughter, Baby Emmy. We’d grown mighty attached to that little bundle-o-joy, and not having her around the house on a regular basis hurts like hell. Mrs. G. is especially brokenhearted about the whole situation – she misses that baby like you wouldn’t believe. I hope the day will come soon when we’ll all be able to work out an agreement where we can spend some more time with Baby Emmy; we sure liked having her in our world.
So now Mrs. G. and I are empty nesters. It’s kind of strange to think that it’s just us there now – our family size was cut in half in a matter of minutes. Of course the cats still think they rule the house, and in many ways they do. Jack has called “dibs” on Miss Katie’s old room, and Tasha the Drooling Cat has permanently parked herself in the old recliner that Miss Katie liked to sit in. Mrs. G. and I are slowly getting used to having it quiet at night around the place, and we find that not tripping over all the extra furniture at 4:30 in the morning is kind of a bonus.
Some day we’ll get used to the notion that our family will never be the same again. We’re already enjoying each other’s company, which is a good thing. But for now it’s just going to take some time.
So parents – be sure to hug your kids and tell them that you love them. Tolerate them for as long as you can, then count to ten and tolerate them some more. And kids – please be honest with your parents. They’re really on your side, no matter what, and lying to them will never improve your situation at all. Believe me – your folks would much rather hear a “bad truth” than a “good lie”.
I’ll close this with an old Chinese proverb. Keep this in mind as you think of your family, will you?
“One has to have run a household before one can know the price of rice and firewood, and one has to have raised children before one can understand a parent’s love.”
posted by Tommy G at
10:49 AM
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