Now all we need is for a milk tanker to tip over…

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14 tons of spilled Oreo cookies snarl Ill. Traffic

MORRIS, Ill. - Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway.

Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

"The boxes came out of the trailer and boxes were ripped open," he said.

Mahoney says no charges have been filed but both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies.

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Can you imagine being behind a tipped over truck of Oreos? 14 TONS of the black and white treasures? How cool would that be?

It's always been my (sick) dream to be behind a truck that tips over and spills something cool all over the highway. I don't want the driver to be hurt – I just want to load up my trunk with valuable merchandise, just like chocolate crème cookies.

And yes – a tipped over armored car spilling hundreds on the road will be even cooler, but the odds of someone eventually coming after you for their cash are much higher than Mr. Oreo chasing you down for return of their cookies.

For some, being in the right place at the right time pays off. My Uncle Austin years ago was on the Pacific Coast Hwy in Northern California when a truck filled with wine tipped over in front of him. Austin was never happier.

Me? The closest I've ever come to such a prize was in 1984, when I was on I-5 just south of Seattle, about 20 cars behind a truck filled with chickens that tipped over. If I remember right, there was something like 2,500 live hens on this truck.

No, we didn't get and complimentary fryers, eggs, or hot wings.

Instead, we got feathers. Lots and lots of feathers.

Fortunately, most of the crates held together, so there wasn't a lot of roadkill as the chickens tried to cross the 6-lane road. There were only a few splats here and there.

But the feathers flew EVERYWHERE. It was like giant snowflakes, if snowflakes looked like Henny Penny's outer coating.

So I'm still on the hunt for something cool spilled on the highway. No oil, no honey, no chocolate syrup, and definitely no chickens.

Maybe I should start tailgating the Keebler elves…