Hoops Goes Down For The Ten Count

Be honest with me – give it to me straight. I can take it.

Is it so wrong that I not give a rat's ass about the NCAA basketball tournament?

Lord, I hope not.

I know I've written about this before – last March, in fact. All of the bandwagon fans who mysteriously pop out this time of the year to talk about brackets and seeds and bubble teams and blah blah blah… These are people who couldn't have named three college basketball players two weeks ago, but now they're suddenly experts on everything about the sport.

See, the facts are simple.

1 – I just don't give a crap about college basketball. Never have. Probably never will.
2 – It'd be really hypocritical of me to now pretend that I do.

But from judging some of the negative reactions I've received over the past week when I yawn or look otherwise disinterested when the Final Four talk starts, you'd think I'd joined the Communist party or called someone's baby ugly.

"WHAAAAT???" "How can you NOT be a basketball fan?" "Don't you have at least ONE bracket?"

No, no, no. I really don't want anything to do with it. No wagers, no studying brackets, no sitting around glued to the TV watching a bunch of college kids shoot baskets. I'd rather watch paint dry.

It's not that I hate all sports – I do enjoy the Seahawks when they're on TV (and are winning); the same for the Mariners. I'll watch the World Series if nothing else is on, and of course Super Bowl Sunday is a big deal in the Gressel household, mainly for the ads. I can even tolerate about two hours of the Olympics, provided it's on my TiVo and I can fast forward through the seven gazillion commercials and heartwarming athlete profiles hosted by Katie Couric and her ilk.

But there's the one sport I'll go out of my way to watch – Boxing. Yes, put two guys in the square ring and let them beat the snot out of each other – now THAT'S entertainment. I thoroughly enjoy my World Championship Boxing, and would much rather sit through an Arturo Gatti fight or a Vladimir Klitchko battle than any Final Four crap.

So give me a good old fashioned heavyweight championship bout – 12 rounds of boxing for the IBO/WBC/IBC Heavyweight Championship of the World. Keep it fair, keep it clean, keep those blows above the belt. When the bell rings, come out fighting.

Doesn't that sound like more fun than listening to squeaking tennis shoes for two hours?

I think so.