"Gee Yogi, I don't think Mr. Ranger's gonna like that."

I've heard of some strange turn-ons over the years (hey - I've got HBO!), but this one? This one takes the basket.

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Man accused of sex with picnic table
Police say man admitted to repeatedly having sex with his picnic table

BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after being caught on a DVD and has admitted to having sex repeatedly with his picnic table.

Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, was having sex with a picnic table while he is outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.

Police say the incidents occurred close to Ridge Elementary School.

On March 20 Huron County prosecutors met with investigating officers and were shown the DVDs. Later that day, Price was brought in for questioning.

Police say that during questioning, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table. He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home.

Captain Johnson concluded: "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around."

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Ummm. Yeah. I suppose it's better than sticking it to the cat, but really now. A picnic table? He must be a load of fun to have around on the 4th of July.

I imagine that Mr. Price's partyin' on the patio days are over for a while, especially since his home address and mug shot were included in this article.

But just in case, let ol' Tommy offer you this bit of advice, in the event that you're over at Artie's place. If he asks you if you'd like to stay for dinner, and you're nutty enough to accept the offer – well then, just stay away from the potato salad.