Duuuuuuude!

I understand that sometimes stoners have to improvise, and that picking up a pack of Zig-Zags is occasionally…inconvenient. But grave robbing just to fire up the chronic? That takes a lot of energy that could be better spent eating Cheeto-s and playing X Box, man!

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Men charged after skull dug up, used as bong

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Authorities in Texas have filed corpse-abuse charges against two men who allegedly removed a skull from a grave and used it as a bong.

The Harris County District Attorney's Office confirmed on Thursday that misdemeanor abuse of corpse charges have been filed in the case.

One of the men allegedly told police they dug up a grave in an abandoned cemetery in the woods, removed a head from a body and smoked marijuana using the skull as a bong.

Police found the cemetery and a grave that had been disturbed but are still investigating the rest of the story, officials said.

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I knew a guy way back when who used to make bongs out of just about anything he could get his hands on – wads of tin foil, beer cans, one of those "Doo-Dah" birds that they sell at the county fair (they're normally filled with colored sand), you name it. Our high school chemistry lab just about went broke after he was in class.

Brother was CREATIVE, to say the least. He was also a massive burnout, thanks to all that experimentation with his own innovative designs.

I doubt he ever had the urge to smoke anything out of a human skull, although I wouldn't put it past him if given the chance.

As fun as it sounds, I really have never had an urge to do anything – legal or otherwise – with a real skull. They're good for Halloween decorations and Act III of Hamlet, but other than that, they're probably best left to rest in peace. Bad karma and all that, you know.

I remember hearing once about some freaks who liked to drink wine out of a skull. I sure hope they washed it out first; you don't want old sinus materials mixed in with your pinot noir. And of course headhunters around the globe make good use out of their skull collections – it's the bling of the third world. Get them some rhinestones and a couple of Mercedes hood ornaments, and they'll be chilla.

So be good boys and girls – don't toke from some guy's brain cavity. Because an head full of smoky water is a terrible thing – when you're wasted.