Be There - But Be More Than One Square.
It’s been said that I’m a fairly liberal guy, and I’ve even been accused of being a “West Coast Tree Hugger” every now and then by my narrow-minded conservative friends.
And maybe it’s true. Yes, I do like nature the way it is, and yes – I’d like to see more trees than strip malls in the future.
But sometimes? Sometimes I think the whole conservation effort gets taken to extremes. Like this example:
* * * * * * * *
Sheryl Crow Takes a Swipe at Toilet Paper Use
In an effort to help save the environment, U.S. singer Sheryl Crow is calling on everyone to limit the amount of toilet paper used "in any one sitting" to one square.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting... We can make it work with only one square per restroom visit."
Crow acknowledges there could be occasions when the one-square limit might not suffice, such as "on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."
Oh, and I just love how she refers to “those pesky occasions” when you can use two or three squares. Oh, gee – MAY I??? I tell you what, Sheryl. Come on over to Casa De Gressel. I’ll whip you up a big batch of chili, some tacos, and maybe some carryout specialties from the “House of the Weird”. (Sioux City’s fine dining establishment ‘Coyote Canyon’ – where you get dinner AND a show, mainly from the oddballs who patronize the place.) We’ll see how many squares you need after that, won’t we?
I’m sorry, Miss Nutty Crow. I love the music, but hate the suggestion. I’ll keep recycling my cans and newspapers, and I won’t buy anything that contains chlorofluorocarbons. But I’m keeping my T.P. right where it belongs....
...you can thank me the next time we shake hands.
And maybe it’s true. Yes, I do like nature the way it is, and yes – I’d like to see more trees than strip malls in the future.
But sometimes? Sometimes I think the whole conservation effort gets taken to extremes. Like this example:
* * * * * * * *
Sheryl Crow Takes a Swipe at Toilet Paper Use
In an effort to help save the environment, U.S. singer Sheryl Crow is calling on everyone to limit the amount of toilet paper used "in any one sitting" to one square.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting... We can make it work with only one square per restroom visit."
Crow acknowledges there could be occasions when the one-square limit might not suffice, such as "on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."
She writes that when she presented the idea to her younger brother, he went a step further, suggesting that people could "just wash the one square out."
Crow's other green ideas include a clothing line she has designed with a detachable "dining sleeve" that can be used as a napkin, thereby saving on the use of paper napkins.
"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating," she writes.
* * * * * * * *
Wow. Is she serious??? I mean, I realize that Sheryl Crow is a size 0 waif-like rock star and all, and probably has enough money in her savings account to hire an underfed third-world starving child to come wipe her backside with organically grown hemp cloth if she so desires.
But one square? Really? That’s it? Oh, honey – you just don’t know. You really just don’t know.
She’s obviously never lived with a regular guy. Us all-American dudes out here appreciate the finer things in life – margaritas, pizza, hot wings, bacon double cheeseburgers, and the ability to have enough of Mr. Whipple’s finest product on hand when needed. You can’t take all of that on with only a 5-inch square of two-ply!
Crow's other green ideas include a clothing line she has designed with a detachable "dining sleeve" that can be used as a napkin, thereby saving on the use of paper napkins.
"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating," she writes.
* * * * * * * *
Wow. Is she serious??? I mean, I realize that Sheryl Crow is a size 0 waif-like rock star and all, and probably has enough money in her savings account to hire an underfed third-world starving child to come wipe her backside with organically grown hemp cloth if she so desires.
But one square? Really? That’s it? Oh, honey – you just don’t know. You really just don’t know.
She’s obviously never lived with a regular guy. Us all-American dudes out here appreciate the finer things in life – margaritas, pizza, hot wings, bacon double cheeseburgers, and the ability to have enough of Mr. Whipple’s finest product on hand when needed. You can’t take all of that on with only a 5-inch square of two-ply!
Oh, and I just love how she refers to “those pesky occasions” when you can use two or three squares. Oh, gee – MAY I??? I tell you what, Sheryl. Come on over to Casa De Gressel. I’ll whip you up a big batch of chili, some tacos, and maybe some carryout specialties from the “House of the Weird”. (Sioux City’s fine dining establishment ‘Coyote Canyon’ – where you get dinner AND a show, mainly from the oddballs who patronize the place.) We’ll see how many squares you need after that, won’t we?
I’m sorry, Miss Nutty Crow. I love the music, but hate the suggestion. I’ll keep recycling my cans and newspapers, and I won’t buy anything that contains chlorofluorocarbons. But I’m keeping my T.P. right where it belongs....
...you can thank me the next time we shake hands.
posted by Tommy G at
10:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home