Trapped.

Help me. I’m stuck.

You see, winter isn’t quite through with us poor bastards in Iowa. She’s still hanging in there, with a vengeance.

Let’s begin my tale of woe last Saturday/Sunday, when a foot of fresh snow fell. This was of course on top of the freezing rain that fell from the sky beforehand, and the several inches of snow that was already gracing the fair lands since early January.

Then yesterday the real fun began.

It started simply enough with a blizzard warning – that ran for 48 HOURS. The snow started falling around 4:30 AM, and stopped for the most part sometime late last night. Officially we got another 8 inches on top of the foot that was from last weekend, plus the pre-existing snow.

But that’s only half of the fun. The winds are also blowing around 50 miles an hour, making it damn near impossible to shovel, drive, walk, or breathe outdoors without sucking in a face full of powdery sin.

The state patrol closed I-29 all the way from Brookings, South Dakota to the Iowa/Missouri state line – about 220 miles all together. I-80 is closed from Omaha to Des Moines. Travel is highly unadvised for anyone with an ounce of sanity.

Fortunately, our employers cut us some slack and closed shop. I got to work yesterday AM, and my new manager Mr. K. immediately sent us all home. The Lovely Mrs. G’s boss sent them home at 9:00 or so, and even Miss Katie, who works at the mall, lucked out when they actually closed the mall. (You know it’s bad out when both the mall and the nearby casinos close.)

So here we are... Friday AM, trapped at home for the second day. Just about everything is shut down – schools, jobs, stores, roads, patience levels. The city has pulled all of the plows off the streets, and the cops are saying that we should all just plan on staying put until tomorrow night at the soonest.

But it’s not all bad. I’ve finally been inspired to start writing that Great American Novel I’ve always wanted to finish. Mrs. G. has barricaded herself in the bathroom with a baseball bat. And Miss Katie? She’s riding a tricycle up and down the halls and is muttering something about “redrum”.

Okay – in all honesty we’re all getting along fine, with maybe the exception of a couple of cats who are going stir crazy. One has cabin fever really badly, and the other keeps eyeing us like she’s just seen the movie “Alive”, and wants to know which one of us looks the juiciest.

Still, I can’t wait for maybe a little bit of Spring to show up, instead of all this blizzard crap. Because as far as I know, I’ve never had to shovel sunshine.

But in the meantime, if any of you out there want to come have some snow to play in, you’re more than welcome to come scoop all you want. It’s free. You-haul-it, you can have it.

Just don’t try taking the freeway to get here; they’re closed.