Choose Your Words Carefully

As a writer, I enjoy nothing more than coming up with a really decent catchphrase to use. Oh, sure -- I’ll usually beat it to death, to the point where the Lovely Mrs. G. has to threaten me with bodily harm if I dare repeat it once more, but hey – a good catchphrase is a good catchphrase, right? Might as well get as much mileage out of it while you can.

So as the talented young scribe that I am (humble, too), I can appreciate when someone else comes up with a great slogan. Of course I’m instantly jealous that I didn’t think up “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World”, but in the proper context it probably works best of the show Heroes and not for me. (Since I personally don’t know any cheerleaders offhand who need saving.)

“Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” is another one of my all-time faves, but since I can’t say it even remotely as cool as Michael Buffer does, I won’t even try. And yes – I’m the guy who still loves to hear someone say “I’m Going to Disneyland!”, especially when it’s me.

But when a slogan, catchphrase, or other swell line stinks, it really stinks. And it’s my duty and responsibility to point it out, mock it endlessly, and laugh in its face.

So here’s today’s stink-o-rama. It’s from the new ABC game show “Show Me the Money”, hosted by none other than William Shatner. (He's no Reege, but that's an argument for another day.)

This is seriously how they’re promoting the show.

They’re calling their own show “Shat-tastic”. And I’m still not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment or not.

Do none of the marketing geniuses at ABC not know that the term “shat” has more to do with past tense B.M.s than it does with Captain Kirk? I mean, who really wants to be associated with a TV show that they’re literally calling a turd, even before it airs?

The Lovely Mrs. G. uses the term “shat” quite often, usually when describing her disgust at our cat’s inability to hit the litter box. But I seriously doubt she’d ever call a game show “Shat-teriffic”.

T.J. Hooker wouldn’t jump across a cop car hood to save that poopy slogan, that’s for sure.

So for Christmas I may need to send the boys at the Tiffany Network a dictionary. And maybe some fake doggie doo to make the point.

Of course, if the show bombs in the ratings, it may very well be “Shat-tastic” on its own...