"Fun" Starts with "F - U"
Good Lord. Is this really what we as a society are doing to today’s kids?
* * * * *
Massachusetts Elementary School Bans Tag
ATTLEBORO, Mass. - Tag, you're out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.
Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.
Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.
"I think that it's unfortunate that kids' lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they'll never develop on their own," said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 40 miles south of Boston. "Playing tag is just part of being a kid."
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.
* * * * *
Now, tell me. What’s the fun of having recess if you can’t play a little bit of harmless tag? Sure, a kid may trip and skin their knee every once in a while, but that’s what kids do. You put some Bactine on it, give them a Spiderman Band-Aid, and you move on.
When I was a kid we played tag for HOURS. We played every variation you could think of – freeze tag, TV tag, movie tag, “sing a song the entire time you’re it” tag, you name it. It was great fun, and guess what – I’m still alive.
I can imagine the kids at this school, enjoying their permitted fun recess activities: Breathing (not for the asthmatic kids, however), looking around (but please don’t stare into the sun), and sitting around, doin’ nuffin. But have a good time, dammit!
They’ve already taken out all of the swings, see-saws, and other dangerous implements of destruction from the playgrounds. What’s next?
* Why, you might trip when jumping rope, so that’s out.
* You might accidentally swallow a jack.
* Don’t play in the wooden bark padding – you might get a sliver.
* Sandboxes only lead to germs.
* Hopscotch mocks one-legged children.
* Trading baseball cards can lead to vicious paper cuts.
* What if you play Hide and Seek, and forget to find one player? He may never be seen again!
* You might taunt Happy Fun Ball and unleash Hell. (Sorry – old SNL reference.)
Maybe they should allow the kids to play a nice, safe hand of Texas Hold ‘Em. At least that’ll give them good skills for adulthood and won’t lead to any playground collisions. (Unless you owe money to the 5th grade loan shark, that is.) Or knowing how things are going in the world today, they could probably start giving them some military combat training, just to give them a jump start for when they’re drafted in 10 years.
Is it any wonder why kids today are all lard-butts? We don’t let them play because they might get a boo-boo and Mom and Dad’s big bad lawyer will have to sue the pants off of the school. So instead we plunk them down in front of a nice, safe video game or TV and slowly turn their minds into mush while their muscles atrophy. Great times all around.
I really don’t get this policy. And I’d like to tag the principal “it” and make her stand there frozen, singing TV show theme songs, until she pulls her head out of her butt.
They should all be ashamed. And then forced to sit in the corner with a dunce cap on. And no dessert after dinner for two weeks.
That’ll show them.
* * * * *
Massachusetts Elementary School Bans Tag
ATTLEBORO, Mass. - Tag, you're out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.
Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.
Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.
"I think that it's unfortunate that kids' lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they'll never develop on their own," said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 40 miles south of Boston. "Playing tag is just part of being a kid."
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.
* * * * *
Now, tell me. What’s the fun of having recess if you can’t play a little bit of harmless tag? Sure, a kid may trip and skin their knee every once in a while, but that’s what kids do. You put some Bactine on it, give them a Spiderman Band-Aid, and you move on.
When I was a kid we played tag for HOURS. We played every variation you could think of – freeze tag, TV tag, movie tag, “sing a song the entire time you’re it” tag, you name it. It was great fun, and guess what – I’m still alive.
I can imagine the kids at this school, enjoying their permitted fun recess activities: Breathing (not for the asthmatic kids, however), looking around (but please don’t stare into the sun), and sitting around, doin’ nuffin. But have a good time, dammit!
They’ve already taken out all of the swings, see-saws, and other dangerous implements of destruction from the playgrounds. What’s next?
* Why, you might trip when jumping rope, so that’s out.
* You might accidentally swallow a jack.
* Don’t play in the wooden bark padding – you might get a sliver.
* Sandboxes only lead to germs.
* Hopscotch mocks one-legged children.
* Trading baseball cards can lead to vicious paper cuts.
* What if you play Hide and Seek, and forget to find one player? He may never be seen again!
* You might taunt Happy Fun Ball and unleash Hell. (Sorry – old SNL reference.)
Maybe they should allow the kids to play a nice, safe hand of Texas Hold ‘Em. At least that’ll give them good skills for adulthood and won’t lead to any playground collisions. (Unless you owe money to the 5th grade loan shark, that is.) Or knowing how things are going in the world today, they could probably start giving them some military combat training, just to give them a jump start for when they’re drafted in 10 years.
Is it any wonder why kids today are all lard-butts? We don’t let them play because they might get a boo-boo and Mom and Dad’s big bad lawyer will have to sue the pants off of the school. So instead we plunk them down in front of a nice, safe video game or TV and slowly turn their minds into mush while their muscles atrophy. Great times all around.
I really don’t get this policy. And I’d like to tag the principal “it” and make her stand there frozen, singing TV show theme songs, until she pulls her head out of her butt.
They should all be ashamed. And then forced to sit in the corner with a dunce cap on. And no dessert after dinner for two weeks.
That’ll show them.
posted by Tommy G at
12:06 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home