Oscar! Oscar!
This weekend is Oscar Weekend – time for Hollywood to spend 3.5 hours kissing its own red carpeted ass.
I actually love watching the Oscars – sure, they're a bunch of overpaid, whiny bad actors putting on fake smiles and telling the world how thrilling it was just to be nominated, but every once in a while you see something that seems genuinely...human.
Alas – I’ll be on my couch in Sioux City and nowhere near Hollywood when the Big Show starts Sunday evening. (My invitation must’ve been lost in the mail, huh?) . But have no fear – I plan on live blogging the entire ceremony, start to finish. That’s right; a real time running commentary on all things Oscar worthy from your old pal Tommy. Just think of all the questions I’ll be able to answer – LIVE.
* Which actor has the worst phony front row laugh?
* Which actor/actress had the worst facelift of 2006?
* Who refuses to take their sunglasses off indoors this year? (Yes, Jack – I’m talking to you.)
* Which celebrity proves that “Reading is Fundamental” when it comes to squinting at the teleprompter?
* Does Jon Stewart dare to introduce Uma Thurman and Oprah Winfrey?
* Did a crying actor get the hook and the musical cue after four minutes of babbling on about something nobody outside of his talent agency care about?
* Did Geena Davis wear another unfortunately see-through dress?
* Does anyone really not get the deeper lyrics of “It’s Hard Out Here Bein’ A Pimp”?
* Did they give the technical guys back their dignity and let them walk up to the stage this year?
* How many Revlon ads can you possibly cram into 3 hours?
* How many Brokeback Mountain jokes can you possibly cram into 3 hours?
* How many shots of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can you possibly cram into 3 hours? (Hint: One is too many.)
But the biggest question of all…
Will it be worth it?
Absolutely!!!
So check back here Monday AM, bleary-eyed and still wearing your Versace from the night before, for all the fun scoop. Because in my envelope, you’re all winners.
But remember – it actually IS an honor just to be nominated.
I actually love watching the Oscars – sure, they're a bunch of overpaid, whiny bad actors putting on fake smiles and telling the world how thrilling it was just to be nominated, but every once in a while you see something that seems genuinely...human.
Alas – I’ll be on my couch in Sioux City and nowhere near Hollywood when the Big Show starts Sunday evening. (My invitation must’ve been lost in the mail, huh?) . But have no fear – I plan on live blogging the entire ceremony, start to finish. That’s right; a real time running commentary on all things Oscar worthy from your old pal Tommy. Just think of all the questions I’ll be able to answer – LIVE.
* Which actor has the worst phony front row laugh?
* Which actor/actress had the worst facelift of 2006?
* Who refuses to take their sunglasses off indoors this year? (Yes, Jack – I’m talking to you.)
* Which celebrity proves that “Reading is Fundamental” when it comes to squinting at the teleprompter?
* Does Jon Stewart dare to introduce Uma Thurman and Oprah Winfrey?
* Did a crying actor get the hook and the musical cue after four minutes of babbling on about something nobody outside of his talent agency care about?
* Did Geena Davis wear another unfortunately see-through dress?
* Does anyone really not get the deeper lyrics of “It’s Hard Out Here Bein’ A Pimp”?
* Did they give the technical guys back their dignity and let them walk up to the stage this year?
* How many Revlon ads can you possibly cram into 3 hours?
* How many Brokeback Mountain jokes can you possibly cram into 3 hours?
* How many shots of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can you possibly cram into 3 hours? (Hint: One is too many.)
But the biggest question of all…
Will it be worth it?
Absolutely!!!
So check back here Monday AM, bleary-eyed and still wearing your Versace from the night before, for all the fun scoop. Because in my envelope, you’re all winners.
But remember – it actually IS an honor just to be nominated.
posted by Tommy G at
8:29 AM
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