Whose Got Gum?

You know, sometimes you see a headline that’s so strange you have no choice but to blog about it. Here’s just such an example:

Gum chewing helps bowels after surgery: study
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060220/us_nm/gum_dc_2

My first thought? If your bowels feel better from chewing gum, then brother you’re probably chewing it incorrectly. Do we need to start putting warning labels “This End Up” on the wrappers? I suppose if there’s a enough of a reason to have suppositories come with a “Do Not Eat” warning on them, then why shouldn’t your pack of Double Bubble be subjected to the same?

But when you read the article, it sounds like it makes perfect sense, in a slightly nauseating way.

“Seventeen of 34 patients who chewed gum beginning a few hours after surgery passed gas several hours sooner than the half who did not chew, and they had their first bowel movements an average of 63 hours after surgery compared with 89 hours for non-chewers.”

Mmm, mmm! Enjoy your breakfast, America!

But the moral of this story? If you really need to go, break out a pack of Wrigleys, grab the Enquirer, and have a good time.

Just don’t blow any bubbles, okay?