Winners Are Losers Who Got Up And Gave It Just One More Try...
I lost a game this morning.
It’s important to mention this because I am one of the most competitive people in the world. Put me into a game or a contest, and I play to win, every time.
It’s bad, but I can’t help it. I’ve always played to win – I don’t know how to throw a game. My poor little granddaughter is in for a world of disappointment when Poppy whomps her at Candyland in a few years.
But this morning I lost a game. And I’m still a little bitter about it.
You see, The Lovely Mrs. G. and I have a lot in common: We are both brutally competitive, and we’re both overly stubborn. We’ve been tracking our miniature golf scores for the last 11 years (she’s waaaay ahead of me in the number of victories, a fact I don’t like to acknowledge that often), and every morning at the gym we play a game of basketball – “PIGGY”, instead of the traditional “HORSE”. We’re fiercely cutthroat at everything we play, from sports to board games to...
...The Toothpaste Game. This is the one I lost today.
It’s important to mention this because I am one of the most competitive people in the world. Put me into a game or a contest, and I play to win, every time.
It’s bad, but I can’t help it. I’ve always played to win – I don’t know how to throw a game. My poor little granddaughter is in for a world of disappointment when Poppy whomps her at Candyland in a few years.
But this morning I lost a game. And I’m still a little bitter about it.
You see, The Lovely Mrs. G. and I have a lot in common: We are both brutally competitive, and we’re both overly stubborn. We’ve been tracking our miniature golf scores for the last 11 years (she’s waaaay ahead of me in the number of victories, a fact I don’t like to acknowledge that often), and every morning at the gym we play a game of basketball – “PIGGY”, instead of the traditional “HORSE”. We’re fiercely cutthroat at everything we play, from sports to board games to...
...The Toothpaste Game. This is the one I lost today.
The rules of the Toothpaste Game are simple: Be the last one to get anything out of the tube of toothpaste. You then leave the bone-dry tube for the next opponent to try to squeeze anything out. If you can’t get a dose of Colgate out of it, and you’re forced to go get a new tube out of the linen closet, you lose.
Mrs. G. and I are both very good at this game. We’ll squeeze, fold, flatten, and otherwise mutilate that toothpaste tube for a good week or two, just so we don’t have to be the loser who has to admit defeat and go get a new one. You’d think we were the largest tightwads of the face of the planet if you were to see how little toothpaste is actually left in one of our empty tubes when we finally throw it out. It’s equally impressive and a little bit frightening at the same time.
So this morning, after a full week of squeezing and folding the tube into all sorts of origami-like shapes, in a desperate effort to get blood from a stone (or whitening gel from a tube, whatever the metaphor may be), I finally surrendered and took one for the team.
Yes, I lost the toothpaste game. Mrs. G. has all the rights and privileges of a full days gloating ahead of her. She’s the victor, and I have to publicly give her the props that she so richly deserves.
There.
As for me, I’ll go lick my wounds and wait a month or so for the new tube to be down to the dregs. And then the challenge will be back on. But until then, I’ll have to simply accept the reality that I did not win this time around. Sniff.
Oh, well. At least I won’t have any cavities to slow me down.
Mrs. G. and I are both very good at this game. We’ll squeeze, fold, flatten, and otherwise mutilate that toothpaste tube for a good week or two, just so we don’t have to be the loser who has to admit defeat and go get a new one. You’d think we were the largest tightwads of the face of the planet if you were to see how little toothpaste is actually left in one of our empty tubes when we finally throw it out. It’s equally impressive and a little bit frightening at the same time.
So this morning, after a full week of squeezing and folding the tube into all sorts of origami-like shapes, in a desperate effort to get blood from a stone (or whitening gel from a tube, whatever the metaphor may be), I finally surrendered and took one for the team.
Yes, I lost the toothpaste game. Mrs. G. has all the rights and privileges of a full days gloating ahead of her. She’s the victor, and I have to publicly give her the props that she so richly deserves.
There.
As for me, I’ll go lick my wounds and wait a month or so for the new tube to be down to the dregs. And then the challenge will be back on. But until then, I’ll have to simply accept the reality that I did not win this time around. Sniff.
Oh, well. At least I won’t have any cavities to slow me down.
posted by Tommy G at
8:50 AM
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