$&@#!!!

There was an odd AP article online today about a survey they held regarding...profanity.

You know, cursing. Swearing. Uttering naughty words. Saying something stronger than "dookie" or "daggum". Dropping an F-Bomb.

(Side note: You know that it's a slow news week at the Associated Press when they have time to call up 1,000 random people and ask them how many times they say "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks" during the course of their day...)

Here's the gist of the article:

Nearly three-quarters of Americans questioned last week — 74 percent — said they encounter profanity in public frequently or occasionally, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll. Two-thirds said they think people swear more than they did 20 years ago. And as for, well, the gold standard of foul words, a healthy 64 percent said they use the F-word — ranging from several times a day (8 percent) to a few times a year (15 percent).

Younger people admit to using bad language more often than older people; they also encounter it more and are less bothered by it. The AP-Ipsos poll showed that 62 percent of 18 to 34-year-olds acknowledged swearing in conversation at least a few times a week, compared to 39 percent of those 35 and older. And more men admitted to swearing: 54 percent at least a few times a week, compared to 39 percent of women.

Wondering specifically about the F-word? Thirty-two percent of men said they used it at least a few times a week, compared to 23 percent of women.

Interesting, no?

I try not to swear all the time, but sometimes it just can't be helped. If your hands are full and you drop your keys, why then it's perfectly reasonable to loudly mention excrement. Idiot drivers always deserve a colorful moniker. Stupid people who purposely do stupid things can usually count on being called a derogatory term, usually about their lack of having a legitimate birth. And a certain President of the U.S. has a permanent nickname with me that describes his cranium as being phallus-shaped.

But overall, I've managed to cut way back on my cursing. In high school though, I could out-swear a sailor. It's what we did - everyone - so it just sort of grew on you. Before you knew it, you were dropping f-bombs without even realizing it.

Remarkably enough though, I didn't curse as a little kid, mainly because I didn't know any swear words. I was 6 years old before I learned my first one.

My older sister Paula (who was about 20 at the time) was across the street from our house, talking to a friend. I wanted her to come home and make me some lunch, but she was too busy chatting. So Lamont, the naughty kid from down the block who apparently knew a thing or two about swearing, told me to go over and "tell her to come home now, or you'll kick her ass."

So I did.

I marched across the street, right up to Sandy's front porch where they were chatting, and in my best six year old voice, bellowed, "Paula, you come home right now, or I'll kick you ass!"

Well, she came home all right. Dragging me by the ear all the way. And after having half a bar of Ivory soap shoved in my mouth, I discovered what the word "ass" meant. Hey, I had no idea up until that point. But I knew NOW.

So here I am, 35 years later, still swearing when need be. I'll drop the occasional curse when it's warranted, and sometimes I'll even add a naughtygram in this blog, just for emphasis or a laugh. But mostly I try to save my swearing until it's really necessary.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check the headlines and see what that &#%!$@!! Bush is up to today…