It's a Country & Western Chinese Christmas!
As I’ve pointed out numerous times here, there’s few things in this world that Sioux Cityans love more than a buffet. All that you can possibly shovel down your pie hole for one low price? It’s a dream come true!
Buffets are a big business here in the Midwest, and no other genre of all-you-care-to-eat-(and-then-some) is more popular than the Chinese buffet. In the last 3 – 4 years, at least 6 new Chinese buffet places have opened around town, and it seems that just about every place that can possibly serve you re-warmed chow mien or sweet & sour something is now doing it.
With that, let me tell you about the China Star buffet, where the Lovely Mrs. G. and I dined last night.
But first, let me tell you about the building the China Star is in. It’s a typical square box-shaped stand-alone restaurant in the far end of a typical strip mall parking lot. The building was first home to a restaurant called “G. Ruby’s”, which had a train theme and served some pretty good steak sandwiches, bacon cheeseburgers, and the ilk. The walls were decorated with train crap, the waitresses wore bib overalls and train conductor caps, and a toy train ran around the entire restaurant along a track that hung from the ceiling.
After about a year, the people at G. Ruby’s renamed the place “Grubby’s”, and went with a combination train/hobo theme. Apparently the locals were too dumb to include the appropriate punctuation when reading the “G. Ruby’s” sign, and had been calling it “Grubby’s” for a long time anyway, so the owners decided that they couldn’t fight city hall or poor reading skills, and changed the name. They kept the train set, the crap on the walls, and ordered new menus with a hobo/wino enjoying a hamburger on them. ("Burgers and Night Train -- that's good eatin'!")
Grubby’s lasted for about 6 months. The hobo theme apparently carried over to their wait staff, and the service sucked big time. We went once, and never again. The place was boarded up, and that was that.
Or was it? About 3 months later a third new restaurant came in. This time it was “Whiskey Creek Barbecue & Steakhouse". They covered the outside of the building with logs to make it look like a giant log cabin, removed the train crap from the walls and added wagon wheels, cowboy hats, and lassos. (The train track remained, but alas – no more train.) They started every meal with a large metal bucket of peanuts, and customers were encouraged to throw the shells on the floor.
The food was okay – overly salty, but bearable. But the atmosphere? Let’s put it this way – annoying loud country music, cranked up to 11 on the amp and 12 on the Twang-O-Meter. They also had TV sets that hung around the place, showing matching music videos of the loud annoying country music. It was a hick bar in every term, with the only two things missing were the multiple stuffed & mounted animal heads on the wall and the endless river of Busch Light.
The curse continued, and Whiskey Creek lasted for about a year, tops. Salty food, obnoxiously loud Shania Twain, and the joy of sitting in a pile of peanut shells apparently doesn’t equate to “Good Eats”. So the building went into mothballs yet again, and the good people of Sioux City began to wonder what could possibly come next.
Which brings us to today’s feature, the China Star.
China Star moved in about two months ago, leaving the faux log-cabin exterior in place, along with the giant wagon wheels that are bolted to the back of the booths. (Chinese Cowboys?) The train track is still there, but sorry – no Orient Express. They’ve sprinkled a few Buddha statues around the place, and there are a couple of Asian fans tacked to the walls, but other than that it still pretty much resembles a hick bar, only with a Chinese buffet in the middle.
The good news though is that Shania and all of her heartbroken, twangy loud friends from Nashville are gone. But what they’ve put in it’s place is almost as evil.
For last night, as I’m scooping up some Mongolian Beef and orange chicken, the background music is playing. It’s strangely familiar. I’m humming along, because I know the tune, but I can’t quite place it.
Then it hits me. It’s Christmas Music. Shania has been replaced with “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”
Yes, on June 26, 2006, the China Star restaurant of Sioux City, Iowa is playing a bad Chinese Muzak version of Christmas carols.
I look across the lo mien at the Lovely Mrs. G., and ask her if she recognizes the song. “Yeah,” she says. “You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry.”
It was just too surreal. Sitting in a Country & Western themed, train track embedded, Chinese buffet restaurant, listing to tidings of Christmas joy. On the 5th day of summer.
Sure enough, the next song was “Jingle Bells”. This was followed by “What Child is This”, and Wham’s “Last Christmas”. It was odd, I’m telling you. Just odd.
Now, I didn’t hear this conversation – Mrs. G. did. So I give her full credit and all the props in the world for passing it along to me. It seems that she overheard an older couple commenting about the unique choice of music.
Older Man: “Hey, isn’t that Christmas music?”
Older Woman: “Yeah, it is.”
Older Man: “I wonder why they’re playing Christmas music now?”
Older Woman: “Who knows why they do things? They’re Asian.”
So I guess we weren’t the only ones a little bit confused by the musical background choice.
It’s fairly common for the local Chinese buffets to also offer American dishes for those who’d prefer Midwest meat & potatoes over Mu Shu Pork. The other buffet down the street regularly serves mini corn dogs, French fries, ham slices, and chicken nuggets. But as far as I know, they’ve never played holiday music six months before the holiday.
So if you happen to find yourself in Sioux City, and are looking for a whole new meaning for the term “Asian Fusion Cuisine”, by all means stop by the Cowboy Chinese Railroad Hobo themed buffet that is the China Star on Gordon Drive. You'll want to give it two thumbs up, a great big "yee-haw!", and a partridge in a pear tree. Just be sure to tell them Seasons Greetings, from the Gressel household.
Buffets are a big business here in the Midwest, and no other genre of all-you-care-to-eat-(and-then-some) is more popular than the Chinese buffet. In the last 3 – 4 years, at least 6 new Chinese buffet places have opened around town, and it seems that just about every place that can possibly serve you re-warmed chow mien or sweet & sour something is now doing it.
With that, let me tell you about the China Star buffet, where the Lovely Mrs. G. and I dined last night.
But first, let me tell you about the building the China Star is in. It’s a typical square box-shaped stand-alone restaurant in the far end of a typical strip mall parking lot. The building was first home to a restaurant called “G. Ruby’s”, which had a train theme and served some pretty good steak sandwiches, bacon cheeseburgers, and the ilk. The walls were decorated with train crap, the waitresses wore bib overalls and train conductor caps, and a toy train ran around the entire restaurant along a track that hung from the ceiling.
After about a year, the people at G. Ruby’s renamed the place “Grubby’s”, and went with a combination train/hobo theme. Apparently the locals were too dumb to include the appropriate punctuation when reading the “G. Ruby’s” sign, and had been calling it “Grubby’s” for a long time anyway, so the owners decided that they couldn’t fight city hall or poor reading skills, and changed the name. They kept the train set, the crap on the walls, and ordered new menus with a hobo/wino enjoying a hamburger on them. ("Burgers and Night Train -- that's good eatin'!")
Grubby’s lasted for about 6 months. The hobo theme apparently carried over to their wait staff, and the service sucked big time. We went once, and never again. The place was boarded up, and that was that.
Or was it? About 3 months later a third new restaurant came in. This time it was “Whiskey Creek Barbecue & Steakhouse". They covered the outside of the building with logs to make it look like a giant log cabin, removed the train crap from the walls and added wagon wheels, cowboy hats, and lassos. (The train track remained, but alas – no more train.) They started every meal with a large metal bucket of peanuts, and customers were encouraged to throw the shells on the floor.
The food was okay – overly salty, but bearable. But the atmosphere? Let’s put it this way – annoying loud country music, cranked up to 11 on the amp and 12 on the Twang-O-Meter. They also had TV sets that hung around the place, showing matching music videos of the loud annoying country music. It was a hick bar in every term, with the only two things missing were the multiple stuffed & mounted animal heads on the wall and the endless river of Busch Light.
The curse continued, and Whiskey Creek lasted for about a year, tops. Salty food, obnoxiously loud Shania Twain, and the joy of sitting in a pile of peanut shells apparently doesn’t equate to “Good Eats”. So the building went into mothballs yet again, and the good people of Sioux City began to wonder what could possibly come next.
Which brings us to today’s feature, the China Star.
China Star moved in about two months ago, leaving the faux log-cabin exterior in place, along with the giant wagon wheels that are bolted to the back of the booths. (Chinese Cowboys?) The train track is still there, but sorry – no Orient Express. They’ve sprinkled a few Buddha statues around the place, and there are a couple of Asian fans tacked to the walls, but other than that it still pretty much resembles a hick bar, only with a Chinese buffet in the middle.
The good news though is that Shania and all of her heartbroken, twangy loud friends from Nashville are gone. But what they’ve put in it’s place is almost as evil.
For last night, as I’m scooping up some Mongolian Beef and orange chicken, the background music is playing. It’s strangely familiar. I’m humming along, because I know the tune, but I can’t quite place it.
Then it hits me. It’s Christmas Music. Shania has been replaced with “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”
Yes, on June 26, 2006, the China Star restaurant of Sioux City, Iowa is playing a bad Chinese Muzak version of Christmas carols.
I look across the lo mien at the Lovely Mrs. G., and ask her if she recognizes the song. “Yeah,” she says. “You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry.”
It was just too surreal. Sitting in a Country & Western themed, train track embedded, Chinese buffet restaurant, listing to tidings of Christmas joy. On the 5th day of summer.
Sure enough, the next song was “Jingle Bells”. This was followed by “What Child is This”, and Wham’s “Last Christmas”. It was odd, I’m telling you. Just odd.
Now, I didn’t hear this conversation – Mrs. G. did. So I give her full credit and all the props in the world for passing it along to me. It seems that she overheard an older couple commenting about the unique choice of music.
Older Man: “Hey, isn’t that Christmas music?”
Older Woman: “Yeah, it is.”
Older Man: “I wonder why they’re playing Christmas music now?”
Older Woman: “Who knows why they do things? They’re Asian.”
So I guess we weren’t the only ones a little bit confused by the musical background choice.
It’s fairly common for the local Chinese buffets to also offer American dishes for those who’d prefer Midwest meat & potatoes over Mu Shu Pork. The other buffet down the street regularly serves mini corn dogs, French fries, ham slices, and chicken nuggets. But as far as I know, they’ve never played holiday music six months before the holiday.
So if you happen to find yourself in Sioux City, and are looking for a whole new meaning for the term “Asian Fusion Cuisine”, by all means stop by the Cowboy Chinese Railroad Hobo themed buffet that is the China Star on Gordon Drive. You'll want to give it two thumbs up, a great big "yee-haw!", and a partridge in a pear tree. Just be sure to tell them Seasons Greetings, from the Gressel household.
posted by Tommy G at
9:09 AM
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