Gressel Knows Best
The lovely Mrs. G and I dream of living near the beach someday. And lookie here – our opportunity may be just around the corner!
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Hulk Hogan's house for sale for $25M
BELLEAIR, Fla. - Hulk Hogan has moved his family to Miami Beach and put his mansion near Tampa on the market for a whopping $25 million.
The pro wrestler-actor, aka Terry Bollea, and his wife, Linda, moved last month to a new $12 million bayfront estate on Miami Beach so their children, Brooke, 18, and Nick, 15, could pursue singing and acting careers.
The home has seven fireplaces, 2.3-acre grounds overlooking the Intercoastal Waterway and Gulf of Mexico, a guesthouse, swimming pool, waterfall and four-car garage.
"You can get lost in it," said Marcia Ellis of Coldwell Banker, who sold the Belleair property to the family 14 years ago and has listed it again.
Hogan still owns a more modest place on Clearwater Beach and a home in Los Angeles that is on the market for $5.9 million.
"I've got to downscale," he told The Miami Herald recently. "We'll head toward Miami like the Beverly Hillbillies."
* * * * *
So out of morbid curiosity, I went online to find the Hulkster’s real estate listing. Sure enough, you too can to fork over TWENTY FIVE MILLION BUCKS for the honor of crapping where Hulk crapped.
Of course, there are the inevitable downsides. You know – drunken wrestlers who don’t know that Hulk has moved will come pounding on your front door at 3:00 AM, looking to settle that 30 year old cage grudge match right there and then. Then there’s a broken satellite TV setup that only plays Rocky III and Suburban Commando over and over again. Or the workout room that smells like a combination of protein shakes and Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s cheap cologne. And all those Peroxide hair dye stains in the sink? Puh-leeze. I wouldn’t offer a penny over $23,500,000 for this place in such deplorable condition. Not one cent more.
But since I felt it was important to know for sure, I used the Caldwell Banker’s online mortgage calculator to see what this dump would run me. You know, in case the Gressel family somehow wins the lottery and/or receives a huge cash settlement from a yet unknown pharmaceutical company.
Anyway, at $25,000,000 up front for the house & property, with 10 percent down, a semi-reasonable 6% interest rate (damn you, Federal Reserve Board!), appropriate Bellaire, FL property taxes ($16.93 per $1,000 of home value – ain’t it amazing what you can find on the net?). and my very best guesstimate of homeowners insurance rates of $24K a year (you don’t want any hurricanes or thieves taking your 400-inch plasma TV away from you, now do you?), here’s what the Hulkster’s house would cost you:
But the first thing we’ll do to the place? We’ll change out all of the toilet seats in the 11 bathrooms. Trust me – it’ll be a small investment that will prevent many nightmares.
* * * * *
Hulk Hogan's house for sale for $25M
BELLEAIR, Fla. - Hulk Hogan has moved his family to Miami Beach and put his mansion near Tampa on the market for a whopping $25 million.
The pro wrestler-actor, aka Terry Bollea, and his wife, Linda, moved last month to a new $12 million bayfront estate on Miami Beach so their children, Brooke, 18, and Nick, 15, could pursue singing and acting careers.
The home has seven fireplaces, 2.3-acre grounds overlooking the Intercoastal Waterway and Gulf of Mexico, a guesthouse, swimming pool, waterfall and four-car garage.
"You can get lost in it," said Marcia Ellis of Coldwell Banker, who sold the Belleair property to the family 14 years ago and has listed it again.
Hogan still owns a more modest place on Clearwater Beach and a home in Los Angeles that is on the market for $5.9 million.
"I've got to downscale," he told The Miami Herald recently. "We'll head toward Miami like the Beverly Hillbillies."
* * * * *
So out of morbid curiosity, I went online to find the Hulkster’s real estate listing. Sure enough, you too can to fork over TWENTY FIVE MILLION BUCKS for the honor of crapping where Hulk crapped.
Of course, there are the inevitable downsides. You know – drunken wrestlers who don’t know that Hulk has moved will come pounding on your front door at 3:00 AM, looking to settle that 30 year old cage grudge match right there and then. Then there’s a broken satellite TV setup that only plays Rocky III and Suburban Commando over and over again. Or the workout room that smells like a combination of protein shakes and Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s cheap cologne. And all those Peroxide hair dye stains in the sink? Puh-leeze. I wouldn’t offer a penny over $23,500,000 for this place in such deplorable condition. Not one cent more.
But since I felt it was important to know for sure, I used the Caldwell Banker’s online mortgage calculator to see what this dump would run me. You know, in case the Gressel family somehow wins the lottery and/or receives a huge cash settlement from a yet unknown pharmaceutical company.
Anyway, at $25,000,000 up front for the house & property, with 10 percent down, a semi-reasonable 6% interest rate (damn you, Federal Reserve Board!), appropriate Bellaire, FL property taxes ($16.93 per $1,000 of home value – ain’t it amazing what you can find on the net?). and my very best guesstimate of homeowners insurance rates of $24K a year (you don’t want any hurricanes or thieves taking your 400-inch plasma TV away from you, now do you?), here’s what the Hulkster’s house would cost you:
But the first thing we’ll do to the place? We’ll change out all of the toilet seats in the 11 bathrooms. Trust me – it’ll be a small investment that will prevent many nightmares.
posted by Tommy G at
8:50 AM
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