I Want My All TV
This week is National TV-Turnoff week. Between April 24th – 30th you are supposed to leave the boob tube turned off and go find something better to do with your time.
7 days of peace and quiet.
Could I make it for the entire week without my beloved TiVo? I bet I could. Why I could survive seven nights without high-quality prime time programming on 99 channels of pure cable love.
Yeah, right. Fat chance that’s going to happen anytime soon in the Gressel household.
What – they really expect me to miss The Amazing Race this week? Ha, ha, double ha! The Hippies are in last place, man! If they were Philiminated this week and I happened to miss it, I don’t know what I’d do!
And what about Lost? Sure, this week’s episode may be a mere clip show, but they might show something I haven’t seen before! And what about the previews for next week, when the final four eps before the Shocking Two Hour Season Finale That Will Have Us All Talking For Months airs? I can’t risk missing that!
There’s all my other usual nasty habits this week, too – Survivor, CSIs Vegas and Miami, The Donald, Anthony Bourdain’s snarkfest/travelogue, Saturday night boxing on HBO, Taste of America, Iron Chef... The list goes on and on.
Do you really expect me to blow off all of my friends for an entire week? That’d just be rude! What if they never spoke to me again? Or what if they did something sneaky behind my back, formed an alliance, and voted me off the cable box? That’s a rejection I don’t think I could stand.
Deep down, I do see the point of recommending a TV Turnoff Week. According to the TV-Turnoff Week Web site (where apparently the Internet is still okay to use...), kids watch an average of 1,023 hours of TV every year. That’s 42 days nonstop. They also say that 40 percent of all dinners are eaten in front of the set. (Guilty as charged – plus some breakfasts, too!) So maybe there is something good to come out of promoting escaping the grip of the broadcast world for a while.
Still, I do find it ironic that TV-Turnoff Week at least has the common courtesy to fall outside of the May sweeps month. It’s probably the least they could do. I mean, there’s being noble and honorable for a week, and then there’s the fear of missing the latest trappings on Desperate Housewives.
So I’m afraid that your friend Tommy won’t be boycotting TV this week. I know that I’ll be tsk-tsk-tsk’ed by the TV-Turnoff people, but my true colleagues – Horatio Caine, Phil Koegan, Iron Chef Morimoto, Larry Merchant – will be waiting for me, ready to entertain me at the push of a well-used TiVo button.
And with friends like that...
7 days of peace and quiet.
Could I make it for the entire week without my beloved TiVo? I bet I could. Why I could survive seven nights without high-quality prime time programming on 99 channels of pure cable love.
Yeah, right. Fat chance that’s going to happen anytime soon in the Gressel household.
What – they really expect me to miss The Amazing Race this week? Ha, ha, double ha! The Hippies are in last place, man! If they were Philiminated this week and I happened to miss it, I don’t know what I’d do!
And what about Lost? Sure, this week’s episode may be a mere clip show, but they might show something I haven’t seen before! And what about the previews for next week, when the final four eps before the Shocking Two Hour Season Finale That Will Have Us All Talking For Months airs? I can’t risk missing that!
There’s all my other usual nasty habits this week, too – Survivor, CSIs Vegas and Miami, The Donald, Anthony Bourdain’s snarkfest/travelogue, Saturday night boxing on HBO, Taste of America, Iron Chef... The list goes on and on.
Do you really expect me to blow off all of my friends for an entire week? That’d just be rude! What if they never spoke to me again? Or what if they did something sneaky behind my back, formed an alliance, and voted me off the cable box? That’s a rejection I don’t think I could stand.
Deep down, I do see the point of recommending a TV Turnoff Week. According to the TV-Turnoff Week Web site (where apparently the Internet is still okay to use...), kids watch an average of 1,023 hours of TV every year. That’s 42 days nonstop. They also say that 40 percent of all dinners are eaten in front of the set. (Guilty as charged – plus some breakfasts, too!) So maybe there is something good to come out of promoting escaping the grip of the broadcast world for a while.
Still, I do find it ironic that TV-Turnoff Week at least has the common courtesy to fall outside of the May sweeps month. It’s probably the least they could do. I mean, there’s being noble and honorable for a week, and then there’s the fear of missing the latest trappings on Desperate Housewives.
So I’m afraid that your friend Tommy won’t be boycotting TV this week. I know that I’ll be tsk-tsk-tsk’ed by the TV-Turnoff people, but my true colleagues – Horatio Caine, Phil Koegan, Iron Chef Morimoto, Larry Merchant – will be waiting for me, ready to entertain me at the push of a well-used TiVo button.
And with friends like that...
posted by Tommy G at
9:29 AM
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