57 Channels and Nothings On

So – you looking forward to an exciting season of network television? Me neither.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ll watch “Lost” until the day it loses its originality (which hopefully will be several years from now), and yes – I’ll admit to my guilty pleasure of ‘some’ (definitely not all) reality TV. “The Amazing Race” is generally just that – out and out Amazing – and I’ll still watch “Survivor”, even if the shine is definitely off that apple. (I’m a Probst hater from way back – if I was ever a contestant, I’d probably be kicked off for calling him a little prick on the air.)

But the rest of it? I can take it or leave it. And I usually leave it.

Of course, that’s the last thing that the Big 6 nets want to hear from me, a proud member of the 18 – 49 male demographic. (It truly did break my heart when a few years ago I was cast out of the all-impressive 18-34 demo, however. Sniff!) But what do they want from me? They spend all summer advertising these shows that I could absolutely care less about (sorry, there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to sit through “The O.C.” or some crappy Pamela Anderson sitcom), or if they do happen to come up with a concept that’s reasonably interesting, they’ll either move it around to different nights and times 6 times in the first two months or they’ll kill it outright after two episodes. Why bother getting to know the characters and storyline when odds are high it won’t be on the air by Christmas?

So I find myself watching a lot of cable TV. Discovery Channel, HBO, Travel Channel, and my all time fave Food Network are listed as my “favorites” in the good old reliable Gressel family TiVo. I also like that the cable boys will show an episode twice in an evening, so if you miss it early on, you set the TiVo to record it at midnight. It works so much better that way (plus, you can fast forward the commercials).

Still, this fall is going to be work-heavy and school-heavy for me, so I shouldn’t get all that worked up about watching much of anything. Macroeconomics has to come before Mythbusters, I’m afraid. But I’ll still try to squeeze in my weekly Lost adventures, and maybe I’ll listen to The Donald and The Martha fire their latest apprentices while reading about supply and demand.

And maybe – just maybe – one day I’ll write a pilot script about a 40 year old guy who is actually 12 on the inside, whose hobby is to sit on the Web and snark about people, places, and things. He’ll have a hottie wife, a sarcastic teenage daughter, a full time job that doesn’t really appreciate him, and enough cynicism to fill 22 minutes of laugh-filled prime time entertainment.

Nah – it’s probably already been done.