Show Me Your Tiddys

Have you ever had an idea for a fantastic new life-changing product? Why, you could’ve been the inventor of the hardhat with two beer cans attached. You could’ve been the genius who thought up the Bedazzler. Hell, you might even be Ron Popiel’s long lost nephew.

I’m not, though.

I’m also not the guy who came up with the following amazing TV product – a good idea upfront, but with a name that can’t help make the 12 year old in you snicker.

The Lovely Mrs. G. and I saw this advertised on the Game Show Network this weekend.

So what the hell is it? Why, it’s a teddy bear shaped shoulder strap pad for your car’s seatbelt. As the ad proclaims, “Eliminate Shoulder Strap Pains Forever!!!”

Neato, ain’t it?

But the best part is its name – the TIDDY BEAR. Seriously.

Now, when they advertise this thing on TV, they show all these wonderful people playing with their Tiddy. They slide their Tiddy up, they slide their Tiddy down, they move their Tiddy from side to side.

And oh how these happy people smile! The Tiddy Bear has changed their life! “I just love my Tiddy Bear!” they exclaim. “I don’t know what I’d do without my Tiddy Bear!”

Har har har.

You see, every time they say the word “Tiddy” in the 60 second commercial – which is about 100 times overall – it sounds a lot like another similar word. And the fact that half of the women in the ad place the Tiddy Bear directly over their C-cups (face down at that) leaves very little to the imagination/sense of humor among all of us pre-teens with dirty minds.

For only $14.95, you too can call the toll-free number and have a Tiddy Bear of your very own rushed to you by U.S. Mail. And if you call now, you’ll be eligible for the limited time special – buy one Tiddy, get one Tiddy free!

Tee hee hee!

The online info also mentions these wonderful benefits of the Tiddy:

• For Men, Women & Great for Kids!
• Safe & Fun for Infants!
• Fits Driver and Passenger Sides of all Vehicles!
• Easy Snap On!
• Slides Up & Down & Stays in Place!
• Soft & Cushy!
• Patent Pending Design!

I can’t tell you how much the Lovely Mrs. G. and I laughed and laughed about the Tiddy Bear. It was juvenile, I realize. But man – was it funny.

So be sure to slow that TiVo fast forwarding down this week when you’re watching late night TV. You too might stumble across the Tiddy Bear and a good reason to laugh at the horrific pronunciation of this cute little shoulder holder.

Just be sure to keep the kids away from this toy. At least until they’re 12.