Man vs. Beast

Is it possible for a cat to strike revenge on his owner? I’m beginning to think that the answer is a definite YES.

Case in point: This morning I cracked open a can of 9-Lives Turkey & Giblets (mmmmm!) for our two cats, Tasha and Jack. Now, Jack usually has a habit of pushing Miss Tasha out of the way to be the first one at the food dish, and today was going to be no exception, if he had his way.

But fair is fair, and since it’s Tasha who needs the insulin shots every morning, it was her turn to get to the “good stuff” from the can-o’-turkey-bits first.

So I pushed Jack away.

He immediately howled at me, as I fully expected him to do, then he again tried to nudge his way in first.

Nope – My can opener, my rules. I chased him down the basement stairs and let Tasha have first dibs. That ought to show him who is boss. Right?

Fast forward about 15 minutes. I’m sitting at the computer in the basement, reading the morning headlines on Yahoo and enjoying a lovely bowl of Rice Krispies. (What can I say – I’m a simple man with simple likes.)

Along comes Jack, howling at me once again. After 14 years of living with his yowling, I know that when he does this, it’s pretty much a “Timmy’s in the well” Lassie-esque move – he wants something, and wants me to get off my butt and do whatever it is that he wants.

Usually it means “let me out”, but since it’s 18 below zero outside today, I know it’s not that. He wants very little to do with the outside world when it’s below freezing. So I tried to ignore him.

But the howling continued.

So finally I got up, and as expected he ran ala Lassie, looking back to make sure I was following him.

But instead of heading back up the basement stairs, Jack headed for the laundry room, turned around, sat down, and stared back at me.

Sure enough, he had something important to tell me.

On the floor, right next to where my beloved pet was sitting, not 5 feet away from the litter box, was a fresh pile of cat crap.

Jack sat next to his steamer and looked up to me with a smug look. Have you ever seen a cat with a smug expression? Well, you have now. I cursed him out as I cleaned up his “present”, calling him every human name I could think of to describe his bitchy feline tactic. And if it was possible for him to smirk at me while I scooped up his artistic impression, that’s exactly what he did.

So maybe tomorrow morning we’ll have to see who gets to the 9-Lives first. Or maybe there will be a certain black cat with a bad attitude who finds himself outside in the cold after all.