Climbing the Property Ladder of Doom
How did you spend your long 3-day weekend? I spent mine torturing myself.
You see, I spent all day Sunday watching a marathon of episodes of “Property Ladder” on TLC. Yes, I really have no life to speak of.
Sounds simple enough, right? Buy a beat-up house, pour a few thousand bucks into granite countertops and new tile floors, slap on a coat of paint, then sell that puppy before your next mortgage payment comes due.
Ah, but things rarely go as planned. And this is where my personal torment begins.
I often find myself yelling at the TV (because they can hear me, can’t they?) at these stupid people who jump into the house flipping business without having a clue what they’re doing. It just makes me itch. (I know, I know. It’s their money – not mine. But still...)
What also makes the show fun/painful to watch is the smarty-pants host of the debacles in the making – Kirsten Kemp. Kirsten is an expert in house flips, and she meets the dreamer/owner at the beginning to walk through their plans. They tell her all of their blue sky ideas, she gives them practical advice which they promptly ignore, and then she gives an honest review of their plans (which usually either suck and/or are way outside their budget). Kirsten is usually right, but at least she has the good grace to avoid sticking out her tongue and saying “Nyah, Nyah, I told ya so.”
Anyway, a majority of these people buy these clunker houses (which are usually in hard-to-find areas such as SoCal) for big bucks, then try to do all the work themselves for as cheap as possible, even though many have never done any type of construction or have dealt with contractors before.
So they’re filled with blind optimism in the beginning, dreaming of making a hundred grand in 8 weeks, and yet they’re shocked – SHOCKED! – when their money runs out, their contractors don’t show up, and they discover mold or rusty pipes behind the walls because they decided to save a couple of bucks and skip the home inspection. They then fill the place with cheap appliances, make color choices based upon their own (bad) tastes, and overprice their houses, and wonder why their house won’t sell.
Gee, imagine why I have an ulcer brewing over this?
One couple tried to solve their “little mold problem” with a sponge and some Clorox. A guy didn’t replace the sink in the utility room – he just spray-painted it copper. A lady “listened” to her house talk to her, and ended up painting it the same shade of yellow as you’ll find on a YIELD sign. Another couple priced their house $100,000 over what all the other houses around were selling for, then refused to lower their price because “they felt it was worth it.”
It makes my butt twitch, I tell ya.
I personally would never try flipping a house, mainly because I have little to no interest in building things like that, and my favorite solution to home repair issues is to call someone – my father in law, a professional, etc. The Lovely Mrs. G. says she wouldn’t mind trying it, but as for me? No thanks. Besides, I’m afraid of what Kirsten’s spit takes on my construction would look like. Her head may very well snap clean off.
Still, it’s fun to watch other people make asses of themselves in the rush for money. And yes – occasionally someone is able to pull off a pretty nice flip and make good money at it. But not often enough to settle my nerves.
So next weekend I’ll have to go outside and get some fresh air instead of watching a TLC marathon. My health will be better, and maybe while walking around the neighborhood I’ll spot a house for sale that with just a little bit of work...
...Nah.
You see, I spent all day Sunday watching a marathon of episodes of “Property Ladder” on TLC. Yes, I really have no life to speak of.
Sounds simple enough, right? Buy a beat-up house, pour a few thousand bucks into granite countertops and new tile floors, slap on a coat of paint, then sell that puppy before your next mortgage payment comes due.
Ah, but things rarely go as planned. And this is where my personal torment begins.
I often find myself yelling at the TV (because they can hear me, can’t they?) at these stupid people who jump into the house flipping business without having a clue what they’re doing. It just makes me itch. (I know, I know. It’s their money – not mine. But still...)
What also makes the show fun/painful to watch is the smarty-pants host of the debacles in the making – Kirsten Kemp. Kirsten is an expert in house flips, and she meets the dreamer/owner at the beginning to walk through their plans. They tell her all of their blue sky ideas, she gives them practical advice which they promptly ignore, and then she gives an honest review of their plans (which usually either suck and/or are way outside their budget). Kirsten is usually right, but at least she has the good grace to avoid sticking out her tongue and saying “Nyah, Nyah, I told ya so.”
Anyway, a majority of these people buy these clunker houses (which are usually in hard-to-find areas such as SoCal) for big bucks, then try to do all the work themselves for as cheap as possible, even though many have never done any type of construction or have dealt with contractors before.
So they’re filled with blind optimism in the beginning, dreaming of making a hundred grand in 8 weeks, and yet they’re shocked – SHOCKED! – when their money runs out, their contractors don’t show up, and they discover mold or rusty pipes behind the walls because they decided to save a couple of bucks and skip the home inspection. They then fill the place with cheap appliances, make color choices based upon their own (bad) tastes, and overprice their houses, and wonder why their house won’t sell.
Gee, imagine why I have an ulcer brewing over this?
One couple tried to solve their “little mold problem” with a sponge and some Clorox. A guy didn’t replace the sink in the utility room – he just spray-painted it copper. A lady “listened” to her house talk to her, and ended up painting it the same shade of yellow as you’ll find on a YIELD sign. Another couple priced their house $100,000 over what all the other houses around were selling for, then refused to lower their price because “they felt it was worth it.”
It makes my butt twitch, I tell ya.
I personally would never try flipping a house, mainly because I have little to no interest in building things like that, and my favorite solution to home repair issues is to call someone – my father in law, a professional, etc. The Lovely Mrs. G. says she wouldn’t mind trying it, but as for me? No thanks. Besides, I’m afraid of what Kirsten’s spit takes on my construction would look like. Her head may very well snap clean off.
Still, it’s fun to watch other people make asses of themselves in the rush for money. And yes – occasionally someone is able to pull off a pretty nice flip and make good money at it. But not often enough to settle my nerves.
So next weekend I’ll have to go outside and get some fresh air instead of watching a TLC marathon. My health will be better, and maybe while walking around the neighborhood I’ll spot a house for sale that with just a little bit of work...
...Nah.
posted by Tommy G at
10:17 AM
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