It's A Hard Knock Life For Paris

Poor, poor, Paris. The wretched heiress just can’t seem to catch a break, can she?

It seems that Miss Hilton showed up at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) yesterday to promote "Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam," a...videogame about her. (I really have to wonder who’d buy a game about Paris’ life, unless at the end you get to lock her in rehab without any makeup or publicists, but perhaps that’s just me.)

But then there’s this quote from Miss Punctuality/Sobriety:

Sorry I'm late," the heiress said. "I'm really excited to have my new video game, 'Diamondquest.' Thank you all for coming, and you can download the game," she said.

Uh – wasn’t her game called ‘Paris Hilton’s Jewel Jam”, not “Diamonquest”? You know, honey, if you’re going to sign autographs on a product with your likeness on it, you ought to at least take 30 seconds and figure out what the hell it’s called. You don’t see George Forman pushing the “Something or Another Grilling Thingy”, do you?

Anyway, here’s what I found out about the “game”.

Her game, which can be played on a cell phone, will be available this summer.

Great. So it’s a cell game. Perfect for playing while driving down the 405 on your way to your lawyer’s office or the bar. Get 10,000 points, win a free high colonic and a chihuahua.

Anyhow, the best part of this “interesting” story was the accompanying photo. The headline said that she was “blowing a kiss to fans”.

Yet I really suspect that she’d just cut one, and was sniffing the “fumes”. “Mmmm, it smells like cheap perfume and Absolute poured over a pile of doggie doo!”

Anyway, here’s to hoping that Paris finds something else to put her name in the papers this weekend – otherwise, what’s a girl to do with all that free time?