When Holidays Collide
Okay, so it’s November 14, 2005. Two weeks have now passed since Halloween. And yet my next door neighbor still hasn’t thrown out his jack o’lanterns. He’s got 3 pumpkins slowly rotting into oblivion on his front porch. Two of them have now officially caved into an ugly orange/black goo, while the other one is simply imploding. Yuck City.
What is it with people who get so excited for holidays, but the moment they’re over they lose all interested in picking up their shit and moving on? The nutball cross the street from us usually has a plastic snowman on his roof until the first of May, and the guy next door (again) had his electronic light-up Christmas reindeer in his front yard until Memorial Day this year. You'd think it was some sort of contest to can see who can be the most yard obnoxious. (The kook across the street would win hands down, though - he and his family like to "camp" in their motorhome in their own side yard...)
Me? I’m the guy who’d take down the Christmas tree on December 26 if the Lovely Mrs. G. would let me get away with it. I usually do convince her though that it needs to go before New Years Day, so that’s close enough. Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, Merry Christmas. There. Now, can we put this stuff away?
There’s already a ton of houses around us with their Christmas lights on. The local Boy Scouts are already selling fresh cut trees. (How “fresh” they’ll be in 6 weeks when Christmas does roll around is another question.) And you certainly can’t walk through any retail outlet without an overwhelming sense of Seasons Friggin’ Greetings!
I don’t hate Christmas – I really don’t. I just think it’s way to commercial for its own good, and that it shouldn’t be dragged out to be a three month celebration. Celebrate Christmas for what it’s supposed to be – don’t turn it into an excuse to litter your yard with fiberglass Santas until St. Patrick’s Day.
So fairly soon I may have to walk next door with my shovel and scoop up those rotting pumpkins. (Even the neighborhood hoodlums won’t smash these yucky bastards – they’re that gross.) I ought to do it before they attract rodents or possums or wolves.
And if that fails, then on November 25 perhaps my Thanksgiving turkey carcass will join them on the neighbor's porch, and make one hell of a quartet.
What is it with people who get so excited for holidays, but the moment they’re over they lose all interested in picking up their shit and moving on? The nutball cross the street from us usually has a plastic snowman on his roof until the first of May, and the guy next door (again) had his electronic light-up Christmas reindeer in his front yard until Memorial Day this year. You'd think it was some sort of contest to can see who can be the most yard obnoxious. (The kook across the street would win hands down, though - he and his family like to "camp" in their motorhome in their own side yard...)
Me? I’m the guy who’d take down the Christmas tree on December 26 if the Lovely Mrs. G. would let me get away with it. I usually do convince her though that it needs to go before New Years Day, so that’s close enough. Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, Merry Christmas. There. Now, can we put this stuff away?
There’s already a ton of houses around us with their Christmas lights on. The local Boy Scouts are already selling fresh cut trees. (How “fresh” they’ll be in 6 weeks when Christmas does roll around is another question.) And you certainly can’t walk through any retail outlet without an overwhelming sense of Seasons Friggin’ Greetings!
I don’t hate Christmas – I really don’t. I just think it’s way to commercial for its own good, and that it shouldn’t be dragged out to be a three month celebration. Celebrate Christmas for what it’s supposed to be – don’t turn it into an excuse to litter your yard with fiberglass Santas until St. Patrick’s Day.
So fairly soon I may have to walk next door with my shovel and scoop up those rotting pumpkins. (Even the neighborhood hoodlums won’t smash these yucky bastards – they’re that gross.) I ought to do it before they attract rodents or possums or wolves.
And if that fails, then on November 25 perhaps my Thanksgiving turkey carcass will join them on the neighbor's porch, and make one hell of a quartet.
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