They Sold Our Souls to Bill Gates!
In honor of my primary employer’s 20th anniversary, they’re passing out t-shirts today. Ooooh! Aaaaahhh! Say it with me, boys and girls – T-S-H-I-R-T-S!!!
But not just any old t-shirts – no sirree, these are special. Because on the front there’s imprinted the company logo, along with a small 20 year logo.
So far so good, right? Well, then there’s the back of the shirt. On the back, silk-screened in large black letters, it says “Microsoft”.
Now, keep in mind that we don’t work for Microsoft. We’re not a division of Microsoft. We do sell their products (Windows, Office), but we’re not associated with Bill Gates & friends in any employee/megacorp kind of way. But there it is – emblazoned for all the world to see, is Microsoft’s name on the back of our shirts.
Which leads me to only one possible conclusion: MY EMPLOYER SOLD THE ADVERTISING RIGHTS TO MICROSQUISH. Yep, we’re just like NASCAR – only without the cool wheels to go underneath all the product placement. Jeff Gordon gets $10 million dollars and a leather Pepsi jacket – we get a white t-shirt with Microsoft’s name across the back.
I remember being a kid and going to Mariner games in Seattle, where the first 10,000 fans through the door would receive a free gift – a baseball, a t-shirt, a Mariner’s cap – and they’d always be littered with sponsor’s logos. If you wanted just a plain Mariner shirt or a baseball with room enough for autographs, you’d have to pay through the nose for it at one of the many Kingdome souvenir stands. But for the freebies? It was just assumed that they’d be slathered in logos for McDonalds, Union 76 gasoline, Safeco Insurance, or some other local sponsor. Of course, you were instantly too embarrassed to ever actually use the freebie gift publicly, and risk having your friends see you in your Mariner hat with the sponsored logo attached. “Hey, Gressel – nice hat, man. How much did you not pay for that?”
So here we are, 25 years later, having the marketing rights sold out on my employer’s one and only gift to us to mark the 20th anniversary of their existence. What – did Microsoft pay for all the shirts in return for the free advertising? Cheap, cheap. And yes – this sounds mighty hypocritical coming from a guy with about 40 Mickey Mouse t-shirts. But hey – I like the mouse. Something I can’t say about this place all that often.
At least they could’ve done was be like the boxers and have “Golden Palace.com” printed on the back... At least that way we might have received some free casino chips or maybe a 2 for 1 buffet coupon with it.
So – let it be known: I have no intention of ever publicly wearing my Microsoft-billboard complimentary 20th anniversary t-shirt. If I wanted to be a public shill for Bill Gates, I’d go back and work for him again. At least Bill gave out *real* awards every now and then.
And here’s to hoping for the 25th anniversary they suck up the $4.00 each and pass out advertising-free t-shirts. And maybe a baseball bat.
But not just any old t-shirts – no sirree, these are special. Because on the front there’s imprinted the company logo, along with a small 20 year logo.
So far so good, right? Well, then there’s the back of the shirt. On the back, silk-screened in large black letters, it says “Microsoft”.
Now, keep in mind that we don’t work for Microsoft. We’re not a division of Microsoft. We do sell their products (Windows, Office), but we’re not associated with Bill Gates & friends in any employee/megacorp kind of way. But there it is – emblazoned for all the world to see, is Microsoft’s name on the back of our shirts.
Which leads me to only one possible conclusion: MY EMPLOYER SOLD THE ADVERTISING RIGHTS TO MICROSQUISH. Yep, we’re just like NASCAR – only without the cool wheels to go underneath all the product placement. Jeff Gordon gets $10 million dollars and a leather Pepsi jacket – we get a white t-shirt with Microsoft’s name across the back.
I remember being a kid and going to Mariner games in Seattle, where the first 10,000 fans through the door would receive a free gift – a baseball, a t-shirt, a Mariner’s cap – and they’d always be littered with sponsor’s logos. If you wanted just a plain Mariner shirt or a baseball with room enough for autographs, you’d have to pay through the nose for it at one of the many Kingdome souvenir stands. But for the freebies? It was just assumed that they’d be slathered in logos for McDonalds, Union 76 gasoline, Safeco Insurance, or some other local sponsor. Of course, you were instantly too embarrassed to ever actually use the freebie gift publicly, and risk having your friends see you in your Mariner hat with the sponsored logo attached. “Hey, Gressel – nice hat, man. How much did you not pay for that?”
So here we are, 25 years later, having the marketing rights sold out on my employer’s one and only gift to us to mark the 20th anniversary of their existence. What – did Microsoft pay for all the shirts in return for the free advertising? Cheap, cheap. And yes – this sounds mighty hypocritical coming from a guy with about 40 Mickey Mouse t-shirts. But hey – I like the mouse. Something I can’t say about this place all that often.
At least they could’ve done was be like the boxers and have “Golden Palace.com” printed on the back... At least that way we might have received some free casino chips or maybe a 2 for 1 buffet coupon with it.
So – let it be known: I have no intention of ever publicly wearing my Microsoft-billboard complimentary 20th anniversary t-shirt. If I wanted to be a public shill for Bill Gates, I’d go back and work for him again. At least Bill gave out *real* awards every now and then.
And here’s to hoping for the 25th anniversary they suck up the $4.00 each and pass out advertising-free t-shirts. And maybe a baseball bat.
posted by Tommy G at
10:46 AM
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