Do to come directly for the second time!

My employer has recently re-entered the international sales market, which they abandoned (along with 13,000 foreign employees) four years ago. Because we’re now selling in Japan, we need to come up with documentation written in Japanese. And since my Japanese is limited to the few curse words my Japanese friend taught me when growing up and the little bit I’ve picked up from Iron Chef (“Fukui-san!”), the need to hire a translator has come up.

Ah, but here’s the rub. To translate a one-page doc from English to Japanese, the service that my employer contracted with wants $185. Ouch. I tried suggesting that perhaps they find a college grad student who’d be willing to do it for the experience and a few bucks, but instead the Powers That Be decided to drop the money for automatic translating software. What could be easier? Type your text, and the software does everything for you.

Well, as you can see below, the results are a little less than pretty.

The paragraph below is what I sent through the software. I then reversed the process and had it translated back into English. Judge for yourself how well it works.

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Good morning, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between!

Today we are going to try a global marketing experiment. We are going to see how well this paragraph translates back and forth from English to Japanese to English again. See how well it works. See how many grammatical errors the software makes. Because if you are anything like good old cynical me, you're hoping for a really messed up hilarious translation, because that's when the good times really start to kick in. Trust me; there are few things I enjoy snarking at more than really bad English, especially when it is auto-generated by a machine that thinks it knows more than humans. (That is the writer within me speaking, I suppose. Down with HAL 9000 and his poor verbiage. Down, I say! Now please open the pod bay door, if you do not mind.)

So without further ado, lets get on with it. Let the games begin.
Enjoy your day, and please come again soon!

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Here’s how it came out. I especially like the last sentence – it sounds almost smutty, doesn’t it?

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Good morning, the woman, the gentlemen, and everyone center!

Present we have done the fact that experiment of entire marketing is tried. We just which this paragraph from English from Japanese to English translates well in approximately re-degree, have done the fact that you see. Just which that works well, see. The software makes some grammatical mistake, see. If you me with what like well old sneer, when being good, without the stand it becomes really in regard to hilarious translation when really it starts kicking the you' which is desired; Being re, the that' Being S. Rely on me; Especially when the automobile occurring with the machine compared to, really bad English, from many which think of that the human I who have known the snarking is enjoyed is a small-numbered thing which in at many. (I who am the writer among me whom you speak suppose. HAL 9000 and that bad verbiage. I say! You. When it did not make the air, the door of the ポッド bay which now was opened do)

without the ado above the そ lie れ happily, that in order to obtain. The game starts, the sea urchin do.

Enjoy your day, do to come directly for the second time!

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Ain’t modern technology great????